She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
