so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
