I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
