well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
