After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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