come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
