Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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