Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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