Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
