11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
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