i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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