The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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