i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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