try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
