You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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