Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
