so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
