He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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