3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
id be glad to
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
