GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
