Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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