my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
