So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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