do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Vodka?
Forever.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
