hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We left an ass print on the piano.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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