More tranny stories later!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
