I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
