Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
