I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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