and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I deserve this hangover.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
