his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
