At least make sure they are 18
Why
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
