It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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