I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
