Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
