I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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