Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
