It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The power of my boobs compel you
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
