She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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