i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
