i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
