he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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