There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
