dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
