Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
