lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
