It's a beautiful day for a hangover
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
