Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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