Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
