His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
