He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
