end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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