Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
