All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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