Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
